


maybe it was peace at last, who knew?

by maevestrom



Series: Vildeblume Cafe Collection: FE Femslash July 2019 [7]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Background Relationships, Celebrations, F/F, Family Feels, Fate & Destiny, Gift Giving, Holidays, Past Lives, Reincarnation, real christmas in july vibes going on huh maeve, sapphic romance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 14:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19889182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevestrom/pseuds/maevestrom
Summary: Day 7: Free-For-AllSoleil may not have a lot to bring to the table. She's not mature or experienced or worldly enough. But she's going to bring everything to win over the girl she's loved from even before this timeline





	maybe it was peace at last, who knew?

**Author's Note:**

> Day 7 is a free-for-all, and rather fittingly I decided to take on my new pet favorite relationship- Soleil and the Nohrian Villager, one that the FE Ladies Discord helpfully named Lune and HC'd so hard I fell in love with the idea and reinterpreted it here. 
> 
> This fic does get heavy and addresses shit like past lives in reincarnation. I guess I wanted to go out with a bang.

The first time Lune meets her, she’s gardening, and they never meet. A group of mercenaries walks through the village, passing by her humble house, and she recognizes her as the only girl in the group of burly men, one of whom calls her Soleil. Soleil notices Lune, who waves with a curious smile and smiles back, and there’s so much light in that smile that Lune is a little taken aback by it, but in a good way, like things clicked for a moment. 

So she grew sunflowers. She grew them at the edges of her house because they’re sunny and remind Lune of the way that Soleil smiles. Part of her sort of hopes that Soleil passes by again and smiles at her just like she did the first time and says _you grew sunflowers? for me?_ and maybe invites her to tea, but it never happens. Lune turns sixteen, then seventeen, and the fantasy gets smaller and smaller until she turns eighteen and lets whatever seeds are left disappear. The sunflowers lasted less than two weeks, and really, she should have let the fantasy go by then.

So Lune grows. And Lune marries. She marries a handsome man named Silas, a knight of Nohr with a noble smile and gray hair turned up. They have a daughter named Sophie, with swoops in her hair from when Silas plays with her as a child, cheering _swoop!_ whenever he traces along, to when Sophie is an adult knight just like her father, with a wife who reminds Lune of when she was a silly teenager who had a crush on a mercenary named Soleil that she only saw for a second, a wife that reminds her of that moment just a little every time.

Lune is happy. Lune loves Sophie with everything in her, loves Silas with almost all of her heart, and is as happy as she can be while still feeling a pebble in her shoe that she cannot explain, a little, tiny seed in her soul that never grew and, while it was covered by everything wonderful in her life, that seed was still there, and Lune eventually dies at a ripe old age never having figured out what it could have grown into and not really caring all that much, the curiosity entering and leaving her mind on her deathbed.

\---

Lune has a way of resting against the door of the car no matter what side of it she's on. She's either half-asleep as Soleil drives on the inside, or leans casually on the outside with arms folded like, yeah, I totally was awake. Soleil overuses the word _cute,_ she knows that. Bugs? Cute. Candles? Cute. Rainstorms? Cute. Women? Oh, goodness, way too much. So it probably would be way too trite to call Lune cute considering she's called like twenty thousand different things cute, but Lune redefines the word _cute._ Like, she's Cute Plus. She's Cuteness Mach IV. She's the kind of cute that makes Soleil stop and swoon on the inside, just thinking of how gosh-dang _cute_ she is, and Soleil can't believe that it took her so damn long to realize it. 

She isn't sure why. Like, she has ideas. When she and Lune met, she had no idea if the new girl to Soleil's high school was gay. Turns out, Lune didn't have any idea if Lune was gay too. At least, until she stepped into the GSA out of curiosity and left it with Soleil's friendship and answers with even more questions. At that point, Soleil stopped seeing her as a very cute girl and started seeing her as her little sister in gayness, the first taste of matronly authority that Soleil ever had. When a few other girls she knew kept referring to her as _thick_ and a _MILF-in-training_ and _step on me mom_ and other terms fifteen-year-old girls probably shouldn't know, Soleil just blushed and told them to stop. She wasn't one for crazy terms anyways. She just wanted to make girls feel good like they did for her. It was even different for Lune because of how protective Soleil was of her. 

Part of it might have been how different Lune was to her. Soleil was… a flirt. Soleil was always gonna be a flirt. Soleil would be a flirt even if she got married, she'd be a flirt until she was put in a nursing home where she'd flirt with all of the blue-haired geriatric ladies because, hey, nothing about flirting was permanent. At least, not to Soleil. It was just… fun.

Lune wasn't a flirter. It just seemed cheap to her, and Lune really was sensitive about cheapening herself or being cheapened. Lune didn't have a crazy amount of girlfriends between thirteen and nineteen, but her sentences always started with "okay, I'm not saying she's the _one,_ but" when first talking about how much she loved them. It always made Soleil sad, because while a few girls met the _one_ in high school, most didn't, and even though she sort of wants to, she doesn't believe in the _one._ She didn't want Lune's heart to break- nor did Lune- but the concern outweighed the pride that she was supposed to have. 

Maybe that's why Soleil flirts so much. That's definitely why she never tried anything with Lune. She'd _considered_ it but always thought she wasn't real enough for Lune, and _Lune deserves the real deal,_ and whenever she considered being the kind of girl that Lune wanted, it fell by the wayside, because hell, there's no way.

Besides, flirting _had_ gotten her in hot water before a lot of times. Even if Soleil was far more cheesy than crude, she'd find that her intents to leave a fishing line out in the sea of cute girls often seemed like she was diving in with a spear. She didn't want to _hunt_ for girls and she sure would never hunt for Lune.

And yet, here she was, watching Lune try not to sleep in the car, orange hair splayed across her chubby face, eyes closed and sunken, seatbelt deeply engraved into the red and blue polyester vest across her enviously big chest, trying so hard not to _be_ asleep much less _seem_ asleep despite really wanting to be asleep, possibly as much as she wanted to go to the Vildeblume Holiday Party, and Soleil is trying really hard to keep her eyes on the road but she really really _really_ wants to stop the car and kiss her on the cheek. Instead, Soleil taps her fingers in rhythm to the Lenny Kravitz song from the radio station that Lune chose before spacing out, trying not to give away that she's probably in love with her best friend.

\---

Lune meets her again when Soleil is a princess of ten years old and Lune is a stable girl. Soleil is not a spoiled princess and so they become fast friends. Soleil points to a horse one day, one like the one her father King Xander used to ride, and begs Soleil to teach her how to. Lune giggles mischievously because she’s never seen a princess fall on her behind before and wants to see it without getting in trouble.

Soleil falls. A lot. Most of the time, she smiles, so Lune doesn’t feel bad about laughing at her. But even as Lune laughs at her almost every time, she stops a few times when Soleil starts to cry, fearful that she will never help the nation like her brother Crown Prince Siegbert, like her other father Laslow, once upon a time a mercenary who was hired by and fell in love with the King in an amount of time that the servants and hierarchs both would say was too fast, even fifteen years in, cheapening it to a 5,500 night stand that Lune could never imagine they would say if Xander found a queen. 

Nevertheless, despite the imbalance, despite the injustice, over time Soleil is adept in riding a horse. Over the years, adept at using a sword on horseback just like her fathers. Eventually, Soleil prepares to ride out to her first battle at fifteen years old, and thanks Lune for her help with a kiss on the cheek that Lune still feels after Soleil has left, ashamed that she was too dumbstruck to tell Soleil that she liked her too.

She never got the chance. Soleil was killed in her first battle. The nation of Nohr mourned the death of their princess for over a year. When they stopped, Lune supposed that it was only fair that she stopped waking up from painful nightmares where Soleil died before Lune’s sight and more painful dreams where Soleil lived, because, hell, Lune was just a stable girl, she couldn’t even train her to ride a horse. Someone who got the princess killed does not get to nurse her own wounds for the rest of her life, but no matter what happens to Lune, she never can put out the candle in the vigil that her heart holds for Soleil until the fire in Lune stops definitively.

\---

Lune rubs her eyes when she feels that the car isn’t moving anymore so she can get a good look at the back of the Vildeblume. There aren’t really any holiday decorations to be found, probably because it’s a very tiny parking lot in the back, the only thing distinguishable being brick walls painted light blue and a tiny set of stairs leading into the back. Soleil points to the cafe with her eyes, saying “well, here we are.”

Lune yawns, stretching as best as the little coupe they’re in will allow. “I… Wow, I was conked out last night, wasn’t I?”

“Had to have been,” Soleil added. “You fell asleep on the phone.”

“You didn’t hang up for a half-hour afterward,” Lune responds accusingly.

“I thought we were just chilling,” Soleil lied.

“Ain’t you tired too?”

“Not really. I’m not a really snoozy person, you know?”

Lune smirks lazily. “Yeah, that’s true. Sunny Soleil. More like Insomniac Soleil.” With that, she finally unbuckles with a playfully aggressive jerk of the arm. Soleil lets her friend’s bitterness go with a giggle. Even if she’s an insomniac, she's the one who got to hear the cutest snoring over the phone.

Lune pops open the door and steps outside, predictably leaning against the door. Soleil gives a slightly sad smile-sigh while patting down the wrapped object in her purse before she puts it over her shoulder and leaves. Lune looks intently into the side mirror, trying to dust off her vest and fluff it out to try and take attention away from her curves. Soleil’s beyond telling her not to worry so much about her weight- _she_ doesn’t- and instead walks behind her, wearing a bright red knitted sweater. She pulls out a headband with reindeer horns on it, causing Lune to stop adjusting herself and swerve towards Soleil as she puts it on.

“Fuck, I almost forgot, you’re a nerd.”

Soleil adjusts it over her wild sand-blonde hair, not really caring to fix it. She does take it upon herself to wipe a smudge of her cranberry lipstick off of the side of her face. “You love me!” she brags confidently. 

“Okay, yeah, true,” Lune concedes. 

“I think we look good,” Soleil says, pulling Lune away from the mirror and towards the front. “Let’s go in!”

Jostled from the adjustment, Lune huffs “Oh! Well fine, then! Damn.” Lune starts to walk towards the back door, but Soleil pulls her away with a dopey smirk. Lune blinks, then shakes her head vigorously. “Right. Just so used to…”

Soleil giggles. Lune seriously needs to sleep more, and not just while she's on the damn phone.

The two of them circle around to the front, where the decorations take on a more severe turn, and by severe, Soleil means amazing. Gaudy, overwhelming, absolutely adorable. Flora went out and got as many nondenominational wintery decorations as was possible. So many snowflakes and sleighs and lights as blue as the head of staff’s hair. She knew that Flora loved winter, but this was on a whole new level. Even Lune was impressed, though judging by the aghast look in her eye, she may have been equally horrified. 

“I’m a little scared to go in,” she confirms.

Soleil grins. “Says you! Come on!” Soleil nearly throws the door off of its hinges and drags Lune inside. Accustomed to it after years of friendship, Lune acquiesces, though after seeing its interior, freezes in place as the door hits her side, unmoving and unsupportive. 

The whole cafe is _loaded_ on holiday decorations that celebrate snow and winter, with huge strings of lights that Flora’s absolute unit of a girlfriend is stringing up without a ladder, little candle-based dioramas of villages topped in tiny paper shavings and glitter, and a roaring fire in the cast iron stove fireplace that Soleil- probably Lune, too, from the looks of it- forgot the place even had. Topping it all off, the entire floor of the cafe is dusted with fake snow, all of it pooling to the side of the counter atop which several gifts rest near a chalk sign saying _Give A Little Bit!_ With the curtains drawn, the place looks secluded from a winter storm while also looking like a storm in its own right.

Flora’s girlfriend looks back at them while attaching the light. “Shut the damn door before you let the draft again.” Lune picks her jaw up off of the floor and steps forward, looking at the surrounding area like a murder scene. That murder scene is the best thing Soleil has seen all week. 

“I’m not cleaning this up,” Lune announces with a smirk, but Soleil can tell that she’s impressed.

Flora pops out from behind the counter, wearing her signature waitress outfit with a snowflake clip on the chest and a white snow cap with bells on it. “You’re off the clock for tonight, so I’ll let you say that.” Seeing that her girlfriend has striped the lights in perfect lines, she nods with ringing chirps coming from the bells on her head. “Perfect, Kjelle. Thanks a million. I got your cocoa.”

Kjelle grins. “Thanks, Flora.” She walks over and tweaks the bells on her hat, making them jangle as Flora grabs them defensively, grin the brightest thing that Soleil’s ever seen. “Nice hat, by the way.”

"Oh, whatever." Flora gestures towards the hoodie with a snowman atop it that Kjelle’s wearing. “What box was this in?”

“Whatever box it was in, I should have burned it.”

Flora slaps her chest. Since Kjelle’s built like a tank, Flora probably hurt herself more than Kjelle. “You look dashing.” Kjelle blushes and, leaning _way_ down, kisses the top of Flora’s head, bells and all. Soleil loves how often Flora melts this giant. 

Flora looks at Lune and Soleil and says “You brought a friend?” 

Lune looks at the ceiling, while Soleil is a star student, all smiles looking at the headmaster with a grin. “Yeah, I mean, I feel like you _have_ to bring Soleil, you know?” With a smirk: “She drums up, like, half your business.”

“Yeah she does,” Kjelle nods before taking a drink of the promised cocoa. 

“Was it _that_ noticeable?” Soleil asks with (semi)-mock dejection. 

Lune playfully pushes her shoulder. “Kind of.” Walking behind the counter: “Just because I have the day off doesn’t mean that the smell from the kitchen doesn’t make me wig out.”

“The Three Fates are there,” Flora informs her. “Mozu took the day off but she and Liv are gonna party.” When Soleil hears that Mozu is gonna show up, her face falls but she tries to keep a smile on her face. 

Lune looks confused, then gets it. “Mozu’s chill with you,” Lune assures her. “Liv’s put in a good few words on your behalf.”

Soleil tries to smile like that doesn’t make her more nervous. She and the Hoshidan waitress are not on the best of terms, and she can’t imagine Olivia not bitching about her.

“Sev and Noire’ll be here soon,” Kjelle adds. 

“All the new couples,” Lune responds with a mixture of listlessness and breathy envy, making Soleil feel both sad and terrified at the same time. 

“I couldn’t get Morgan and Sakura,” Soleil supplies in a feeble attempt to help Lune feel less lonely. “Kura’s family had a function today and Morgan went with. Cross your fingers!” Lune crosses them despite not knowing the full of Sakura’s text freakouts despite things proceeding relatively eventlessly from the first Hoshidan event that she brought Morgan to. Even then, Soleil feels like it’s sweet. 

Suddenly, the smoke alarm goes off. Lune pounds on the wall to the kitchen and yells “What in the fuck are you actually doing i-” Throwing her bag onto the floor, she disappears behind the door before Soleil can ask what she’s doing. Instead, she sits at a table and plays with the hat of a snowman table topper.

Flora covers her head. “If the sprinklers go off, I swear that I will fire each and every one of them.”

“I could always just actually throw them out and you can keep your employees.”

“If they ruin these decorations I don’t want them back.”

Soleil does not have a very long attention span, so she gets bored easily. She grabs her bag and starts fiddling with the objects inside before her hands hit a batch of wrapping paper. _Oh yeah._ Not like Soleil could forget, but… maybe she’ll stress about it less if she gets it away from her. She pulls it out. The wrapping paper is plain velvet red- a departure from Soleil’s usually colorful and playful wrapping paper choices with some variety of kitten on it. Oh, trust her, she knows cute wrapping paper when she sees it, but… this is to show Lune that there’s something serious about this. That Soleil means it, and that she means it for her. 

She walks up to the gift pile on the counter. There’s a few between Flora and Kjelle- Kjelle’s in paper bags with handles taped together, and Flora’s with various festive wrapping paper. The chefs that the others semi-affectionately named The Three Fates have gifts sent to each other- Cherche adds a smiley face and hearts to each of the names of the other two, Nowi has hers made out to “Bunny” and “Lizard” from “Dwagon!” Panne’s have no frills to it. Sneakily, Soleil slides hers in, the tag with no recipients “From” and “To” except a picture of a sun half-hidden by clouds, and a picture of the moon and stars.

Kjelle sets her cocoa down and jerks her thumb at the kitchen. “So, what, are you proposing?”

Soleil’s face turns redder than possible. “Oh, no! I think she’d kill me if I got too mushy.”

“I’m amazed you two aren’t dating,” Kjelle admits. “Like, everything I’ve heard from Flora and Sev sounds like you’re either just idiots or waiting for the right time.”

Soleil chuckles weakly, looking at the tag. “Probably the latter.”

Kjelle snorts. “Probably?”

“Probably.”

\---

Once, Lune never learns Soleil’s name, but it feels so sickeningly right when she leaps in the way of a musket shot trained on Soleil. Despite the novelty of guns, the shooter has an accurate aim and pierces Lune’s gut. Bleeding out is slow, agonizing, and really inconvenient for Lune as she tries to shut her brain off from invasive thoughts as Soleil, dressed in army fatigues, asks why she did that, _you were just a civilian,_ but that’s all that Lune was, and Soleil just felt like more than a fat young woman who would never get a husband and never be missed more than her seven other siblings and honestly had no regrets while dying, even as Soleil couldn’t stop the tears from creaking through the attempted bravery in her eyes, crying like she was losing her best friend, her lover, her other half. 

Maybe Lune had one regret while dying.

\---

When Lune eventually leaves the kitchen, the smoke has died down and she instead grabs her bag with a little shriek. That’s how Soleil knows that she’s even there, jerking her head up from the bar. “Lune, you okay?”

Lune shoves something into her bag. “Yep, everything’s good.”

 _That’s why you were screaming,_ Soleil nearly says, but she just nods like she totally bought it. Lune doesn’t look immediately, instead sitting by her friend with her bag in her hand. “Nowi’s been a chef since we’ve been in training bras, and I think in all that time she has not learned,” She gestures wildly with her hands and Soleil giggles. “One. God- _damn._ Thing.”

“At least she didn’t start a fire?”

Lune shoves her lightly. “Get some standards.”

Soleil giggles. “You never know. Maybe I did.”

Lune raises an eyebrow, eyes narrowing above of a coy grin. If Soleil didn’t know any better, one could swear that she was trying to be sexy. “Oh? _Did_ you now?”

Soleil giggles even though she is about to friggin’ die of embarrassment. This is many things, but the chief of them is _weird._ It is weird to see Lune as sexy after years of Soleil suppressing really any thoughts of Lune as anything but her dear friend, but… wow, Lune can be really hot when she wants to be. 

Or maybe Soleil just really thinks so. Like she wasn’t already a _little itty bit_ turned on by Lune in the sleeveless vest that exposed her barrel arms and tightened around her _okay Soleil don’t_ actually, _because for the love of God you’re in public_ so she leans on her arm, still not really having any words other than another guilty giggle. 

Lune shakes her head. “Sorry, I should know better than to try and get your attention when you’re in the giggle zone.”

“You’re _so_ hot.”

Lune’s bag drops again. “What?!” 

The door bursts open. Soleil didn’t notice the bells on it, but she is paying _rapt_ attention now. The woman on it faces Soleil with a very particular and familiar smile just for her, sort of like the one Lune gives her, but one gentler. Then she looks at Lune and her gaze turns to concern. “Did… I come at a bad time?”

Lune’s beet red but gestures forward. “Come in, Liv, it’s a free restaurant.”

Soleil grins a little too hard. “Yeah! I’m glad you’re here!”

Olivia smiles. She’s wearing a pink pete coat that reaches down to her knees and has her beastlike hair in a bun and braids. Almost apologetically, she walks through enough to let Mozu get by. Soleil gulps, and Mozu looks both nervous and shocked, probably that someone is actually intimidated by her. Considering their relationship started with Mozu being intimidated by _her,_ that’s quite a turnaround. It still doesn’t feel right, though. 

Olivia looks at Mozu, who just smiles at her and gestures forward, dressed in a brown raincoat and probably the only pair of nice jeans she has. Olivia puts her hand up in protest and Mozu gestures again. “Later. Promise.” 

Olivia nods, biting her bottom lip, and walks towards Soleil, sitting to her left to put her in the middle. Soleil spares a look at Lune that says _is this what being chill with me looks like_ but Lune doesn’t really look like she’s thinking of much of anything coherent.

“Are… are the Fates okay?” Olivia asks Lune. Of course, her first question was about them; concern about them is just something you have to get out of the way before you do other things.

“Nowi’s avoided arson so far,” Lune responds. “Not sure if it’s for lack of trying. I told them to tie her up if she gets too shifty. That wasn’t really the best thing to say.”

“Oh.” Then Olivia gets it, probably when Soleil shakes the room with her naughty cackling. “ _Oh!_ ”

Kjelle raises her glass. “Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.” Flora slaps her arm, furiously blushing. To be honest, Soleil didn’t really give either of them object permanence, but maybe she’s just jumpy. 

Lune growls. She’s so red that it pales her hair. “Grownups.”

“Hey,” Olivia protests. “We’re not so bad.”

Soleil giggles. “Early twenties people are not grownups, Liv. Grownups are Kjelle and Flora.”

“I- uh, well…” Olivia starts. “Like, there’s still a difference between us!” 

“Adults don’t blush at, like… that kind of joke.”

“A-and kids can’t say BDSM!”

Lune whistles. “Got us there.”

Mozu giggles as she watches the circle of the three of them. Soleil offers a smile, and Mozu returns it with formal grace. Soleil knows Olivia says her partner’s Ylissean isn’t the best, and Soleil wonders if she’s laughing because she gets it, or is laughing because of the energy between them. Though after the two of them officially became a couple, Mozu’s watched them a little more intently, trying to see how her girlfriend’s family interacts with her. Judging by how she smiles, the answer is _like family._

Before Soleil can say anything, the doors creak open again with a grand slam, letting Severa in. A voice behind her shrieks and says “Severa, do you _have_ to do that?”

Kjelle smirks. “She does. Hey Noire.”

“What am I, chopped liver?”

“Yes.”

Flora doesn’t know how to break up the reverie other than by pretending it never happened. “Well, when it rains it pours! How’re you two doing?”

Severa gives Flora her sweetest smile, which, as far as Soleil is concerned, isn’t really sweet. “Flora! It’s great to see you!”

Flora isn’t exactly moved. No doubt she’s gotten more stories from Kjelle about Severa than vice-versa. “You too, friend.” Then she notices Noire just behind her, draped in a wool sweater and thick scarf. As usual, she looks dressed for the season in a purely nonspecific, fashionable way. The two sit near the counter, Kjelle looking more lit up than Flora despite constantly shit-talking an average of one and a tenth of them. Flora notices and watches her girlfriend with a smile endeared enough to be intrigued. 

No one looks more entranced than Lune, however. She looks like… well, it's hard to describe how Lune looks now without describing how she usually looks. She generally looks like she's trying to be more mature and weathered than she is, and it's usually driven by her immaturity which Soleil also has but deems to be a fun thing in her life. At this moment, Lune seems genuinely starstruck, truly happy without holding herself back. She's absolutely indulgent, and goodness does Soleil love it for her. 

"I'm gonna see how Noire's doing," Lune says before leaving too quickly. Soleil's okay with that because it means that Lune's not there to needle her about blurting out that she was hot. Still, without her, Soleil feels funny, like she's caught in an ocean and just lost her life preserver. Well, after calling it hot, she supposes.

Severa's voice is louder and more intrusive than anyone's by design. "So you can expect that Kagero lady to show up with her date. The kid she's taking care of is out at an event today so she's free."

Flora sighs. "I don't know if we made enough for so many people." Jerking her thumb to the kitchen: "I'm not sure if I want them to cook more either." 

Kjelle chuckles with crossed arms. "Flor, I've never heard anything more like Severa than to spontaneously invite other people to someone else's party." 

"Hey, fuck you." 

Noire giggles. "I mean, she's right." Severa sighs in a troubling yet admirable way, a special sort of exasperation dedicated to the woman next to her. Lune swoons from behind them, even though from everything she said the two of them haven't cemented a label for their relationship or who they are. She reckons Noire is still nervous that Severa will disappear again, and Severa seems nervous about something beyond Soleil's knowledge, but probably anyone else's too. It kind of scares her a little by proxy, but when her mind tries to recount experiences that relate, she can't, and that breaks her a little. All she can do is look at Lune and think that she _wants_ to feel ways that she can't understand with her, that they can both be confused little kids together, and _gods,_ Soleil just _loves_ her.

Olivia taps Soleil on the shoulder, bringing her back to reality. She nearly jumps so high it’s like they switched bodies. “Sorry,” she breathes. “It’s just that you scared me!”

Olivia’s smile is transcendent, and her eyes follow Lune as they talk. Soleil tries to think of an excuse and fails, bowing her head. Olivia claps, a catlike look of pride on her face. “I’m happy for you!”

Soleil shushes her viciously. “She doesn’t know!” she whispers. Olivia looks surprised as she nods in understanding. Then, Soleil slumps in defeat. “Can we go outside? I need fresh air.”

Olivia looks upon her, tenderly this time. With a slightly surprised tilt of the head, she whispers back “Oh, oh dearie…” When she signals to Mozu, who holds up a peace sign before holding her fingers to her lips, Soleil realizes that she’s started to cry. 

Olivia strokes her arm through the sweater. “Let’s go, Soleil.”

That’s how it goes. The two stand in the back parking lot- Soleil insists on the journey even as snow starts to fall, and Olivia is more well-prepared with her lavish winter gear while Soleil is wearing snow pants, a sweater, a haphazard reindeer headband, and a face full of tears. 

“This isn’t…” Soleil can’t finish that thought. Not out of denial, out of confusion. This isn’t _right?_ No, this seems more or less right. _Normal?_ Well, Soleil’s actually been in relationships that have gone nowhere, and she was usually the problem in them in some way or another. _Me?_ Well… closer to the truth, maybe, but, hell, there were still parts that felt close to who Soleil tried to be. It was just… so big, so grand, so… 

“I don’t deserve this,” she confesses, then starts sobbing into her own hands, reindeer headband falling onto the gravel and suffering the onslaught of snow.

Olivia hugs her fiercely, but Soleil is too sad to return. “That’s absurd, Soleil. You absolutely do.”

“I’m in _love_ with her,” Soleil admits, and it is so raw to admit that, to feel how long went into that. “I’ve been in love with her since we met. From the start, I just knew I wanted her to have, like… the best. And I wanted her to be happy and loved and appreciated and I’m so bad at that. I just flirt and mess around and do things that just scare people and don’t matter, and I don’t want to do that to her, and I don’t deserve her, but I love her, Olivia, I really do. I’m so in love with her and I’m an idiot for making her wait so long, because I didn’t know that this was how you fell in love with someone because I’m so cheap and I could never really register that idea because it was too much for me, and I don’t know if I get it now, I’m so young, but…” She sniffles, then finally holds the hand around her forearm from the cousin that can do naught more than wipe her tears away with the other. “If she doesn’t wanna be with me, that’ll really hurt. But if I lost her because I scared her away… it’ll break my heart so hard that it’ll never be right. I could date a million girls and it still would never be right. I’m in love with her, Olivia, I’m so in love with her, and I just feel awful because she deserves so much better. Someone real.”

Soleil falls silent save for errant sobs that break past the walls in her chest. Olivia doesn’t fill the silence but as the hysterics peter out for Soleil, she can feel Olivia thinking, and just lets her, even when the seconds turn into minutes and each one makes Soleil feel more and more like wanting to explode and leave one life to the next where none of this is a big deal. 

“You feel… cheap?”

Soleil nods, sniffling. “Yeah, like… with how much I flirt and everything? Like, no one’s taken me seriously, but… I guess since that was what Dad always did and… how scared I was at first… that’s how I got in. And Lune kind of gets it, but like, she doesn’t like it. I think she’s scared of being like me. And I’m still not okay with how I scared off Mozu like that… it really makes me feel like I’m… just that, you know?”

Olivia wraps her arms tighter around Soleil. “Sol, Mozu’s utterly forgiven you. Which is actually a lot because of Lune. She cleared it up, you know? I don’t think Lune thinks you’re cheap. I certainly don’t.”

“Yeah…” Soleil sniffles loudly. “But I still feel cheap, you know. Scared that I’m not real, that I don’t matter really.”

Olivia shakes her head. “I don’t know if I can really unravel that. That’s… something I feel like… you fell into, that train of thought, and… it’s wrong, and you shouldn’t have, and all I can say is… the way you just told me how you felt, is the most real thing that I have ever heard.”

Soleil sniffles, drying her nose with her hand before it gets too snotty. Olivia looks a little skeeved and hands her a tissue, and Soleil apologetically blows her nose into it. "Thanks," she says. "I mean, it means a lot. I just… we're just _kids,_ right? And I'm okay with that, but… there's so much I wanna give her and I don't know if I can. I don't know how much I can promise just yet. She just… means so much. And maybe it's too much, but-" 

"Sol, can I speak?" To match this, Olivia's raised a hand.

"S-sorry, go for it." 

"I think you're thinking too much," Olivia says. "I think you're right in that you can't promise more than the love that you bring to the table right now. Even if you want more. And you'll keep not being able to bring more than you have even when you get more. But that's okay. I think that what's made Mozu and I work is that… we don't promise more than we have, and we're comfortable with that. And I think… that's worth a try with Lune." 

"I'm so happy for you two," Soleil says. "You _do_ seem really happy together." 

Olivia nods with the freest smile Soleil has ever seen on her. Soleil often says it costs nothing to smile, but she knows she's wrong. She's wrong because next to all the fake smiles that Olivia has given and all the ones that take effort from her, this is so real that Soleil could take lessons from her, and to be honest, she never really got to a point where she felt that she could take romantic advice from Olivia. It's just… gosh, she wants to be that happy.

"I'll do my best," Soleil promises. 

"Good. And even though she's not really one for talking, cause… I think she's self-conscious of the language barrier… Mozu wanted me to tell you something she thought would help." 

Soleil smiles a little. "Really? That's so cool of her! What is it?" 

Olivia thinks for a second. "Something about reincarnation. Like… she wanted to bring the idea that by, like, the way you interact with Lune, that… you should really consider the idea that you've known each other in past lives and… this was meant to be." 

"Fated," Soleil muses in gleeful wonder. "Lune loves fated romance." 

Olivia giggles, content. "It's a big thing in Hoshido belief. I mean, I never really thought of it, but Mozu thinks that there's always something that each incarnation of a person was meant to do. Sometimes it's a job. Mozu had friends who were always fated to be on farms, she thinks. And sometimes they're fated to have specific personality traits. And she thinks that… whatever it means, Lune knew you for a long time before this life." 

"Whoa…" Soleil isn't sure she really gets it, but it feels… kind of right. "That's why we became friends, why I was so protective of her after we met… maybe why she means so much. Cause…" Soleil doesn't finish. Her thoughts aren't all there, but something just clicks. 

Olivia nods. "So give it some thought. Not everything has to be _here_ yet," she pokes at Soleil's head "but, like… bring what you have to the table." 

Soleil thinks of her gift on the counter. She thinks of what she's gonna say. She thinks of how it isn't everything she thinks Lune deserves, but it's the best she has right now, and she smiles.

Olivia notices with a beam. "Good. That's good. Welcome back, Soleil."

\---

They don’t always die young. 

Lune is a young worker at a shirt factory for young women. Looking out the window from her sewing desk, she sees the erection of street lamps as they go from midnight oil to lightbulbs, she sees cars go by, she sees couples in coffee suits and flapper dresses and wonders if they’re both women, but she always goes back to work and Soleil doesn’t, and Lune falls in love with the idea of Soleil, who sees more than Lune sees, who sees the same scenes she does and doesn’t have cheap questions. 

Lune sees couples pass and fantasizes that one day she will wear the coffee suit and Soleil the flapper dress and they’ll be hand in hand together, but Soleil probably doesn’t like girls the way she does, until Lune learns that Soleil has been fired from the shirt factory along with another woman. Lune never hears of them again until it is revealed that Soleil entered a civil union with that woman, a transgression of that time, and Soleil became an icon for queer rights and Lune never met a woman who was into women _like that_ again. 

She settled for marrying a man, but as kind as the man was, she never told him, and she never loved him. _Settling_ was exactly what she did until she died before Soleil, who reached a century of rich and sordid life experiences while Lune died in her nineties, just before the turn of the millennium, wishing she had never wasted her life like she did, promising that she would never again, but it was too late for regrets.

\---

They don’t make it to the gift-giving before Lune pulls Soleil into the kitchen and past it all into the doorway of the employee’s lounge. When Soleil goes to sit down, Lune places her hand on her chest to stop her, breathing deeply.

“Please, please, please,” she says in a hollow tone. “I just… you called me _hot_?”

Soleil can’t deny it.

"For real?" 

Soleil gulps. "Pinky promise."

“You know you’re my friend, right?”

Soleil looks down. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. Damn.”

Luna takes her hand off of Soleil’s chest, but neither are about to leave the doorway. Soleil can hear the sound of the three Fates conversing- Nowi in chipper tones, Cherche in teasing ones, Panne in sturdy ones. They’re often drowned out by the sizzle and hum of cooking, but their dynamic often comes through.

“You’re…” Lune looks Soleil in the eye, which she barely returns, eyes up in a downward head. “You’re the first girl to ever think I’m hot, you know? I think the few girls I dated… well, they never went that far. We never made it to, well, _hot_ stage. Well, I did. They didn’t.” 

Soleil realizes all the times that Lune talked about kissing other girls, that she initiated it, and the idea takes on a whole different meaning, from someone going out of her way to _get it_ to someone who had to in order to get _anything._ She sniffles again only to realize that Lune is too. 

“Just… tell me now. I hate to ask, but I need to know.” 

Lune sounds weary. Lune sounds hollow. Lune sounds like she’s had her heart broken for a thousand lifetimes. 

“Were you just flirting with me?”

Soleil shakes her head vigorously. “No, Lune. I wasn’t. I really wasn’t, I promise. I’d never just flirt with you.”

Lune throws her hands up. “No one does, Soleil.” Then she bows her head. “Fuck, I don’t know what I want. Flirt or don’t flirt? I’m an idiot.”

“Maybe something more?”

Lune looks up at Soleil expectantly. 

“Cause… that’s what I want. Because with the Gods as my witness, I…” Soleil clears her throat as she admits this, pretty sure that most of her body is on fire right now. “I’m… in love with you, Lune.” 

Lune sucks in a breath, eyes widening in a way both hopeful and terrified. "Oh my _gods._ " 

"Yeah," Soleil says, head-heavy. “I just realized it a little while ago, but… I think I was for so long. It’s…” Soleil laughs with fright. “It’s a lot and… I’m not sure if you wanna hear it, but… it’s the truth.” One last time, with a minimal flourish and a skittish smile. “I love you.”

Lune giggles, even though she’s so clearly sobbing and trying to hold back the wave. “Soleil, you total idiot,” she breathes. “I… I-I wouldn’t have taken you here if I wasn’t in love with you too.”

Soleil looks around her. Lune grabs her shoulder with one hand and points up with the other. Soleil sees mistletoe hanging above them both, tied with supernatural precision. Then she gets it. Then she really gets it, looking at Lune with a slack jaw and fiery eyes. Her arms beckon Lune in, holding her the second that Lune takes a step.

“I’m not really a good kisser,” Lune admits. “Like, I never was. So… yeah.”

Soleil meets her eyes. They’re both crying, and if they’re anything like each other, they are probably both wrecks, but Lune has never looked… not cute. Or, not just cute. 

Beautiful.

“It’s okay, Lune.” Then Soleil finds her lips and kisses her powerfully, with everything in her, and even though Lune starts off too stunned and honored to reciprocate properly, the way she matches Soleil’s effort is the most beautiful thing that any incarnation of her will ever see. 

Maybe she’ll start thinking that the _one_ exists. 

Maybe.

\---

The closest they get to getting together, until twelve-to-nineteen years after the turn of the millennium, is when Soleil is with another band of mercenaries and Lune is a villager once more, and the near-miss from eons ago hits. It hits like a mess, with Lune’s village held hostage by bandits who speak of horrid, nasty, fucked-up things that they would do with girls like Lune too passionlessly to even find it as more than a chore. Soleil and the mercenaries run-in with a group of royal Nohrian soldiers and the bandits are no use against those ordained by gods that Lune didn’t know and others could not explain, and really, Soleil, a pretty and strapping woman with frost-blue hair like her mother Flora asked her to stargaze with her, and Lune wasn’t about to turn that opportunity down.

They burned together like oil and kerosene, which is to say, powerfully well and powerfully brief. Soleil was obliviously happy and charismatic, and Lune was tough and fought the wolves away whenever they tried to bring her down. When Lune talked, Soleil responded with fascination; when Soleil talked, Lune _was_ fascinated. When they stargazed, Soleil said she never saw a sky that looked like this, but Lune didn’t question it. The night was exceptionally pretty like it was saying something that Lune didn’t really figure out. 

Soleil was honest with Lune, probably when she saw how casually Lune was slipping off her bandana, coat, overshirt, and had a hand on her pantaloons. _I can’t stay. Dad needs me. Nohr and Hoshido need me._ It sounded like bragging at first and nearly sent Lune into a _no, no, don’t go_ panic, until she saw how desperate and apologetic Soleil looked and Lune instead said something like _you know we can just fuck,_ and Soleil gasped like she never thought that would actually happen. Soleil wasn’t the best woman that Lune ever had, but she felt the most right.

Both girls were naked when Soleil grabbed her clothes. Their spot beneath the night sky was over a mile away on clear land because Lune knew that two women on a romp like this had to be diligent. Soleil started to say _I promise_ before Lune says _Don’t, or I’ll never stop waiting, fair warning._ Soleil says that she’ll always remember Lune, and whether or not Soleil actually does, Lune always remembers Soleil.

\---

The group meets to exchange gifts, and since Flora either wants to challenge everyone or forgets who they are, they all have to exchange publicly. Olivia admits that she and Mozu didn't bring theirs. "We figured we'd keep ours at home." Flora doesn't protest, but Severa huffs that it's _weak._

"Aw, come on," Soleil responds, incensed. "As long as they're happy." 

"I _know,_ " Severa lies, and Noire has to thwap her shoulder in a loving, beleaguered way. "I just think everyone should have to be this terrified."

Soleil scoffs in surprise but doesn't progress any further than an eye-roll. Olivia and Mozu only bring what they have to the table, and that's okay. Mozu meets Soleil's eyes and mouths a thank you, blowing a kiss that makes her beam in honor. Soleil isn't gonna rush anything, but Olivia better marry this girl so she's in the family because Soleil thinks she's the nicest woman on Earth.

The Fates are happy to go first, a veritable holiday feast on the countertop in place of the gifts. Nowi opens her gifts to find a beautiful green pendant from Cherche (“it’s almost as cute as you!”) and a stylish golden bandana from Panne (“that way you can stop ruining food with your hair”). Nowi loves them both. Panne receives a wood-scented body wash set from Cherche and a new set of everything piercings from Nowi, both gifts that she accepts with a secretive nod. Cherche is delighted with both the bottle of expensive perfume she received from Panne, and the ornate bug collection that Nowi (“so thoughtfully”) gave her, and that initiates the long hug and traded kisses between them, their affection slowly becoming a backdrop to the rest of the crew. 

Soleil only notices that Kagero and Cordelia both have arrived when they present their unwrapped gifts to each other. Cordelia gives Kagero a batch of new scarves because it’s winter and “I keep tearing her garments somehow”. The over-thirties sans Flora laugh at the joke that Cordelia herself doesn’t know that she made. Kagero returns by pulling a bookstore gift card out of her wallet, which Cordelia reveals aloud with a wondrous sigh as the two share a chaste kiss that implies a waiting continuation later, not an ending. 

Flora, in particular, seems enthralled. “I can give you so many recommendations for books if you want.”

“She does that,” Kjelle adds with distantly affectionate snark. 

When Flora recommends a book called _The Honorable One_ a fair few people laugh, but she brushes it off. Without a deterrent, she opens up her gifts from Kjelle, for, yes, there are multiple. A book that Kjelle says she found on her own, a light pink blouse that reminds Flora of her sister, and a couple of CDs that Kjelle says reminds her of her college days. In exchange, Flora has gifted her a thermos, three new tank tops, and a gift card to the Vildeblume itself, because “I can’t do everything but I will be damned if you do not drink free here for a little while.”

“Can I still tip?” Kjelle asks.

Flora steals a kiss on Kjelle’s lips- hard, passionate, brief. “Yes, but I’d make do either way.”

Severa and Noire are very nervous to give and receive theirs- they both have kept theirs in their possession rather than left them on the counter, and they take deep breaths and thirty seconds to open theirs. Severa goes first to prove a point that she’s courageous, then cries immediately after reading the two tickets Noire got to an opera in Macarath, Nohr. 

“I wanted us to go together this time,” she admits. “I’d really like that. Us being together.”

“Oh my god, you frickin’ idiot, open up your gift, will you?”

Noire still takes until Severa says “You’re gonna kill me, Noire” to open it and find a tiny box. “Open that too,” Severa begs. She does and nearly leaps backward, shrieking loud enough to make everyone zero in on the contents.

Lune starts to shake, holding Soleil’s hand. “Motherfucker.”

Then she turns to everyone. “I need a moment…” and walks away. Though she lets go of Soleil’s hand, she still follows, holding Lune as she starts to cry like a baby.

In the background, Severa says something about how she can’t let a day go by where she doesn’t have Noire in her life, that she should have done this from the start, and that she doesn’t deserve this until Noire cuts her off by loudly accepting to an eruption of cheers, Kjelle loudest of all. 

" _Noire,_ " Lune chokes before sobbing gracelessly, probably blowing snot into Soleil's shoulder. " _I'm so happy for her!"_

“You did that,” Soleil reminds Lune as she cries. “You’re the reason they’re getting married. You did that, Lune, and you’re so frickin’ amazing.”

“It’s just… so fucking powerful, Lei.” Lune cries a little more before sucking her tears up for the interim. Then: “I know it’s… _very_ very soon, but…" Lune waves it off. "Never mind. It's silly."

“Silly is okay!” Soleil responds without hesitation or question. “Maybe I was already thinking of that. When we're ready, of course." _Whenever we can bring that to the table, but_ when, _not_ if. "Cause we’re never gonna be apart.”

“It feels like we were forever,” Lune admits like she’s seen ghosts. “It really does. Is that weird?”

"Lune, you know me. I promise you that I won't find anything you say weird, or silly, or like too much." Soleil can't promise much, but she can promise that.

"Jesus, baby…" 

Soleil just hugs her and strokes her hair, and just when Lune seems like she’s gonna cry again, the others call the two of them over. “Everyone’s opened gifts except you two!” Cherche announces, a gleam in her eye. 

Lune clears her throat. “I can make it two minutes before I probably start bawling again.”

“We can get it done in time,” Soleil promises. “Unless we’re like the last two who went.” Lune ugly-cackles and sniffles at once. 

Despite her nerves, Lune opens hers first after reading the tag. “That’s fucking cute,” she muses with absent reverence, and Soleil blushes like a damn soul believes that they didn’t get together. “Okay, Sunshine.” With a teary wink, she opens it and a necklace falls into her hand- a sun and a moon, light reflective silver, and dark blue metal respectively. Lune puts it on, doing her best to avoid crying, and thanks Soleil quietly. 

“That’s you two,” Olivia helpfully points out with the cadence of someone who knew about this gift before, when Soleil told her she liked Lune, when Soleil didn’t comprehend the whole truth. 

“I was gonna make a speech about that,” Soleil admits, “but I basically covered it already.”

Lune nods understandingly. “Yeah, mine’s gonna have something irrelevant in it, fair warning.”

That just makes Soleil want to open it, so she eagerly pulls the tissue paper from the bag. In it are a card and a packet. “Well, I guess I’m supposed to read the card first but, like…” Without waiting for permission, she grabs the packet with a _sorry_ and looks at the label. 

“Oh, _actual_ sunflower seeds!” 

“Look, I know you’re not huge on gardening, but it just felt right.”

Soleil giggles, placing them back in the bag. “Well, I am now. Thank you so super much, this was awesome. You’re awesome.” Soleil’s already scrambled up to put the card in her hand.

“That’s the irrelevant part.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Oh, is that a challenge?”

“That’s a frickin’ challenge.”

Severa cuts in. “Okay, kids, save the fucking for later, okay?”

Soleil blushes. Blushes even more when Lune says “Buzz off, bitch, we fucking might, okay?” The room erupts in _ooh_ s (and a wolfish cackle from Kjelle, who may actually have never grown up) and Soleil opens the card so she doesn’t jump into the fireplace or turn into a fireplace. 

It’s a picture of the two of them as twelve-year-olds on a porch together, Dad having snapped a picture of the two of them together a week after they’d first met. Soleil opens the card that has formed from it and finds that a few sunflower petals have been pressed and land into her lap.

The writing reads, in perfect handwriting:

_“Lei_

_Do you know how everyone else at this thing is giving gifts to the girls they love?_

_Well… me too._

_I love you, Soleil. I’ve loved you ever since we were kids. You’re beautiful, caring, you make me feel safe, and I really want to be yours._

_I’m so sorry that it took me until now to say this.”_

Below are lines that Lune scribbled out. “I, uh, was really fucking scared,” she explains, but Soleil can’t figure out a damn reason that Lune ever thought that this letter wasn’t relevant. 

"Aw, Lune… it's beautiful."

She sets it down and takes Lune’s hands. Lune looks back at her lovingly, the most at peace that Soleil has ever seen or felt her while awake. The others surrounding them chatter, some about them, some feeling the break of the gift-giving, but at this point, Soleil kind of forgets that they’re there if she’s honest. It’s just her and Lune, after so long, and everything that spent so long broken is… over now.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is referencing I Forget Where We Were by Ben Howard aaaaaand I feel like we all need one fic referencing this song in some way ahahaha
> 
> Thank you for putting up with a novel's worth of self-indulgence as I painted a moral for myself that I needed to hear. I hope I did all of these relationships justice! There's so much candy yet so much angst and I could only try to nail the sweet spot
> 
> -Maeve


End file.
